This press bulletin just appeared in my Electronic Mail System today. I will relay the summary of it to my readers now. It reads as follows. By order of the Lego commission on Missing Persons or LCP, it is stated this day that the following individual pictured is considered missing. Any information to help identify this male or female pictured would be gratefully acknowledged. The commission has withdrawn any attempts to talk to this individual on the basis of not knowing if he is a male or a female.
We are also trying to uncover just how this little fellow lives without arms and apparently no legs. For all accounts he should not be alive yet he sits before us right now. The static expression has begun to give us the creeps with one officer even getting the hibbie jibbies. He was later taken to Mercer County Hospital and Recovery Center for treatment and released.
There are no clear indications of sex in this missing Lego person that was found in the Treasure Harbor’s old toy box. The individual has punky boy band like hair yet sports clearly marked bangs. We are also unaware if the yellow skin is a reference to being Asian or not. When this individual was given Panda Express the individual just laughed and refused to eat the food. Another attempt to play Backstreet Boys and Celine Dion music to attempt to confirm correct sex was inconclusive.
It is of desperate concern that we identify this lost toy. We of the LCP can no longer be held responsible if this individual were to perish for refusal to eat food. Next we are planning to screen old Teletubbies episodes in order to gain a response and a possible ID of this individual.
The toy stands a mere 2.0cm wide at the base, including hair width and 3.8cm in height. His or her head spins around in 360 degrees but appears to be un-attachable. There is a marking inside the Lego person’s rear end stating “LEGO” and “0210”. It appears to be the correct size to fit over a 2×2 Lego square piece but none are available at this time to test.
This case may never be finished without you, the reader. So please help us identify this toy and what Lego product he belongs to.