CNS: Gregg Zaun – Orioles

The following is an account of how this photo was approved for printing – A amazing photographer, Jimmy, runs back to the over-paid marketing department with his camera full of hundreds of great pictures from the big game. He is really excited that he got so many great action shots full of drama. Which one would the photo editor pick for the card of Gregg Zaun this year?

It turns out that the photo editor was out sick with a rare case of death. In his place, Rebecca, will take a stab at it. She is not getting paid for her full-time internship, she has never even picked up a camera before but as a requirement of her marketing degree she must do this internship. And since she is pretty got the internship rather then somebody majoring in the field. Most days Rebecca is happy to just get through the day and go back home to her investor boyfriend. At last they met they went to Uyuks, a new Peruvian restaurant; she was excited to see where they were going tonight and could not wait to brag about it on Facebook. The photographer ran to her sweating with fear that his photos would not get printed in time before the night’s deadline, it was up to Rebecca.

With a passive aggressive attitude she said “Well photo-guy I can handle them, do you have your photo card thingy”? The photographer resentfully gave her the memory card with his hard-earned photos on it and told her to tell him when she picked the top choices. Rebecca nodded and loaded the photos in. As her day went on she got many texts from her boyfriend, she had the feeling of being in-love. She played a new puzzle game on her IPhone that her boyfriend bought her then shared a photo of two kittens’ together saying “find your true love”. After that she realized that she had to clock out in 2 minutes or she would get written up for over-time. She quickly scurried through the pictures, hardly knowing the rules, players, teams or positions of baseball, but looked great in a slim dress so she got the internship out of the 800 that applied. She finished with her choices and sent them to the editor without calling the photographer.

The next day the photographer burst through the office looking for Rebecca, he could not find her anywhere so he went to the boss. Mike Yurger, was another sharp nosed marketing guy, not a real artist. The photographer asked “Where is Rebeccca”? She was to send me approvals of the photos I took for last night’s game for Gregg’s card. Mike handed him printouts of the finals for his card. Upon seeing the photos the photographer was fired and Rebeccca got hired in as the acting marketing director.

Gregg played for an amazing 9 different teams and had average statistics throughout his career. The best thing you can say about him is that he stuck around and kept at it as long as he could. He was on so many teams that most won’t remember who he is but there is some charm in keeping at it and that is to be praized upon.

But what is frowned upon, unless your team is winning, is steroid use. You would think if you took steroids you would be an all-star, well not for Gregg. He is mentioned in the famous Mitchell Report. From what I have found he refused to testify or answer questions about it. Guilty much? Maybe that is how he got through so many years and that makes me feel sorry for the guy. I am more sorry for the kids that might have looked up to him and the impact on their lives having a hero, as all baseball players are, being involved in cheating at the game with steroids.

Card: Gregg Zaun – Orioles

Number: 604

Company: Topps

Year: 2009

Value: n/a

Design / Picture: F – One of the first things you learn in photography is that your eye naturally goes to the brightest spot in a photo and in this photo that is….. ewww! I also hate to see arms and legs cut off. What a horrible picture to choose for Gregg’s card.

If you have not figured it out from reading this is a work of fiction for fun. So if you don’t have a sense of humor, get one.


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