It’s been a long time since people wrote with quill pens and Indian ink but the need for an awesome writing utensil holder has never been more needed in this vile world. Sure, many pens and pencils might not deserve more than a sturdy drawer to lay in when not in use. But what of the important pens, the highlighters, the red and purple pens of the world, where shall they rest? Thus enter this pirate themed pencil holder. I don’t know about you but I would think twice about taking a pen from a skull and cross boned in-laid container. A perfect gift for the office bound employee.
You can count on your local dollar stores to have a non-stop supply of the things you thought you never knew you needed. This was for sale during Halloween a few years back at the Dollar Tree brand of cheap-o, China import stores. That is another topic all together to talk about but for this one let’s focus on the pirates, they deserve that much.
Sure the paint job might be considered low class and resemble something on a Honda, blasted from 20 feet away but a robot named Earl but the thought is there. Ropes surround the container that that has an ugly fake concrete look. With a bit of touch up for the crafty painters out there you could turn this into a nice looking piece.
Nothing will keep would be thieves of your all-important red pen for grading reports then a big skull. The ceramic container called a vessel on the label clearly states the following.
“NOT FOR FOOD USE – FOOD CONSUMED FROM THIS VESSEL MAY BE HARMFUL”
I never once thought about putting food in this thing anyways. What would you put in it? It’s the smallest food container. Maybe to go along with the exotic pirate lifestyle you could store some fine caviar in the dish, a true showcase of wealth I might add. Adoring your wealthy stuck up friends with expensive caviar would dearly generate a ho-hum and such phrases as “So this is what it’s like to be, What’s the expression? Middle-class”.
I am a bit concerned that the container is safe for pens but not food. What about the over anxious mid-level manger that chews on his pens as if it were salt laced beef jerky? Where will be he in 5 years if he keeps chewing on pens from this container? His best bet is to go get hired on as a manger somewhere else from some cousin he happens to know.
I am almost wondering if we should require items such as these to include labels as to the contents of the materials used in its makeup like food products do. It’s another story all together with not even labeling where the item is made. Have you ever tried to track down where a product is actually made, the address, the company? It’s a hard thing to do! When I am chowing down on some peanut butter and jelly I want to know the date of manufacture, the origin on the nuts, the company that roasted them, the minimum wage employee who is in charge of safety and where the company is located.
Argh but pirates be not concerned with these matters. It’s all about taking and taking, the pirate code and all that overdone crap from countless soulless pirate movies. I feel the amazement of the pirate has been lost, turned and twisted into something and generic as a taco or a generic stereotype such as white people driving BMW’s or the Chinese eating cats. Its sad, it’s a sad time to be a pirate.
Nobody would actually call themselves a pirate I bet either. That is like saying you are the one who blew the game for your team by dropping the ball because you wanted to go home and watch Teen Titans, you just don’t do that. Bring back the magic of being a pirate, its not all about the bad things it’s about the freedom, the fair trading and looking after your group above all else. As like the pens floating in the container waiting to be used, they are all bounded by a single resolve to be of importance. And what more can a pirate or a man ask for?
Purchased – Dollar Tree 2010.
Cost – $1 + tax.
Company: Distributed by Deluxe Imports